It's a Small World After All

This is effin' unbelievable.

Flashback to last term:

It was a rainy Monday night, and I had to rare opportunity of having dinner with R (one of my guy pal classmates in gradschool) at KFC.

R: I don't understand. No offense, but of all the guys out there, why ATF?

Me: Beats me as well. 

R: You know I have an older brother, he's like six-feet tall, a killer IQ... he even went to Stanford.

Me: Whoa! (to myself: hmmm... probably he could hook us up)

R: But he sucks with the chicks. He even runs to me for advice.

Me (to myself): Oh shit. I've had enough from inexperienced geeks. 

This morning, I accepted R's facebook friend request, and noticed that I had another new friend request from the X (now I write it with an X cause he is one of them "lapse in judgements" if you know what I mean...). I paused for a moment. Wait... I just noticed... that... they... have... the... same... last...name... oh no... this is isn't good... I opened a new tab and decided to visit my dormant friendster account. I hurriedly browsed through my friends, clicked on the page I was looking for... went through his picture albums... and BAM! OMFG. THEY'RE BROTHERS!

Fudge. Fudge. Fudge. I wish X would keep his mouth barred shut. This was the X who called all my girlfriends the night I broke up with him, crying his head off, begging each and everyone of them to convince me to stay. I tried my very best to forget this awful awful mistake, and now it hits me hard on the face. Great. It's a small world after all. 

No Looking Back II

Defining Moment #2: The BorAnniversary

No Looking Back (my 2008 in a few defining episodes)

It's almost over. I don't know about you guys, but personally, 2008 wasn't really THE year for me if you know what I mean. Nevertheless, I'm going to give it one last look before I go welcome 2009 with arms, eyes, and mouth (haha!) wide open. Since I'm relatively new here at blogger, I went through my old blog last night searching for memorable 2008 entries to post in installments 'til the new year arrives.
So here it goes...

Jun 28, '08 7:06 am (Boston time)
for Jive's contacts

Blakeley Hall where I stayed with Rin at Tower E

And It's Done: My Mini Tribute to Summer School 

It's over! My six week stint at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy is finished! In six days I shall be crashing back to Manila reality and drowning in official MA workload. However, before I descend into the deeper realms of academia, I'd like to look back at this extremely invaluable experience that has helped me grow even more...

The unforgettables:
1. The super culture shock arrival - I couldn't see a single Filipino/Asian around. I was tired, alone, clueless, tired, tired, tired... the sun was still up at 8pm... I was scared to be alone in the hotel room... I burst into tears.

2. Me eating only Pepperidge Farm Chocolate Chip cookies from the Student Center during my first week here at Fletcher. Everything was so effing far, and at that time I had no courage to explore yet, because I didn't want to get lost. From that moment til today I have been staying away from chocolate chip cookies.

3. Me crying to Sirin during the peak of my adjustment period cause I thought she was my age. A zero poise moment cause my make up was everywhere and my nose was running ( I know, yuck) but at least it was the start of a great friendship between Rin and I. I honestly do not know how I could've managed without her.

4. Me walking for 40 minutes to the "nearest grocery" to buy food. I attempted to walk my way back with 4 heavy bags with bottles in them, but I gave up after like 50 steps. I had to enter an Indian catering shop and bought food to have the taxi company's number.

5. My shining econ theory moment. That was really one of the happiest points of my stay here given that I was able to prove my worth as a student with a functioning brain.

6. Me taking today's finals in PAJAMAS! I love it! One of the things I've learned here is that no one ever dresses up nicely for (that)class. Mas maganda pa nga yung pantulog ko kanina kaysa sa mga suot ng mga tao. Also I can't get over the fact that we finished the entire syllabus in 6 weeks, considering that we rarely finished our syllabi during college.

Things to miss:
1. Hearing Marc Anthony's "You Sang to Me" play on Sirin's laptop every morning.
2. Me and Sirin eating dinner (either delivery from Thai/Sushi place/ Italian restaurant) after class every T TH. We'd end up chatting til 12mn, then we'll start studying.
3. Me and Sirin laughing at weird classmates.
4. Using the electronic fob to open the door, and using www.laundryview.com to see how the washing machines are doing downstairs.
5. The Fletcher School itself - it is such a beautiful building with killer facilities.I wouldn't mind living there. There's a huge elevator even though the building only has two floors.
6. SIRIN!!!

The trivial new discoveries:
1. How to use the washing machine.
2. Getting used to the "T" (subway) to get around Boston.
3. How to cook (but most of the food I like to eat are breakfast stuff anyway e.g. bacon, spam, sausage, etc.)

The non-trivial stuff:
1. Older people tend to reason out in really strange/incredible/poor ways. One thing I've learned here (and P. Bird was right when he told me this in the beginning of the course) was that just because people are older, doesn't necessarily mean they're wiser.

2. I became a stronger person - being alone-alone in a month made me see how independence works from a different angle. My independence in Manila helped a lot, but there I was in my comfort zone with people I love and an environment I am familiar with. Here, I learned TO BE my own comfort zone.

3. It is sooo hard to trust people - yes, people are people wherever they may be, and in Fletcher, we live in the realist premise that in this world, there are no permanent friends and no permanent enemies, just permament INTEREST.

4. If you want it, you just can't get it. You FIGHT for it. And you just keep on fighting.... and fighting... and fighting...

5. To quote Amin: "Fletcher is the best experience for you so far. You may not have worked, but the exposure you got from all these people who are working all over the world in different fields is enough to give you a better idea of which path you'd like to take in IR, as well as to impart wisdom to guide you when your time comes."

In the end, I came, I saw, and in my own way I conquered. My stay here was a fabulous yet humbling experience. It is something that I would always be happy and proud about. Someday, I'd be really looking forward to tell my kids about my stay here, especially how I stayed up til 6am the night before finals trying to study, and at the same time - PAINT MY NAILS. That despite her ditziness, their mom survived to be the youngest (ditz) to step foot in the Fletcher School of Law in Diplomacy.

The Best of the Worst Dates (and hopefully the last)

View
 Z
05/12/08 03:46PM
Ei


Thus said the text message of Z, this guy I used to go out with whenever I was extremely bored and in need of a quick ego fix. Such a profound, sincere, and engaging message after half a year of absence from the face of my pink and perky world. My eyes brimmed with tears, and I stiffled a big yawn. I switched my brain to its Norton Anti-Virus mode and did a quick scan.

Three threats were found.

Mr. Obviously Aint Over 
When: 3 years ago
Where: by the Manila Bay
Duration: 3 hours
Role I assumed: Dr. Phil

Oh yeah. Could never forget this one. By the end of the date I knew everything about the ex - dress size, favorites, virtues, vices (he caught an STD from her so gee thanks, it was very thoughtful of him to inform me) and all that jazz. I felt for him though, so I gave him my sincerest thoughts and opinions the way I would with my closest friends. At one point Mr. OAO started crying, complete with matching hands-over-face pose. I quickly downed my third Margarita then. 

Mr. Houdini (extremely ODD, but rich and good looking)
When: 2 years ago
Where: some ice cream parlor
Duration: 2 hours
Role I assumed: date from hell

Ok, I went on this one as per my room mate's insistence - "It's free food. Just do your thing and charm him. The mall is about to close anyway." Great. Houdini was some sort of directionless chap, so I had to cross to the other side of the road. Oh it was raining hard that night too. His welcome words as I entered his car, "Wow, you'd definitely win any wet t-shirt contest." His comeuppance: I spent the entire night raving about this huge crush I've got on one of my girls' guys. On and on and on and on I went 'til he drove me back home. Good thing I immediately dashed out of the car as he was about to lean over for a kiss. 

Mr. Sales Pitch of the Year
When: memory gap hits
Where: grill restaurant
Duration: memory gap hits again
Role I assumed: audience, he took care of everything

Aside from all the smoke, my eyes dried out from the thrill of our conversation. After doing a background check on me, he began a tirade on all the women he dated who came from my highschool. Models, celebrities, chefs... I was already in deep conversation with my grilled pork chop. He really had a great time though, considering he promptly followed-up within the procedural three-day timeframe, and asked me out again - twice. 


Recommended action ---> fix

Processing 3 threats....

There are no more security risks to be resolved.

Whole Again (a sincere ty to the college ex)

It was the Good Friday of 2006 when it ended.

There I was struggling through the sand, going after one of my girls who was crazily arguing with her bf. Two days in Montemar - I did everything half-heartedly. I wasn't enjoying the beach, the sun, the food... how could I have fun when my "happiness" was two-hours-by- plane away? I was trying so hard to catch up with my right hand busily texting, while the other was tightly grasping "The Art of War", which I've been reading earlier that day. We finally got to the restaurant. My thumb was wildly punching the keys of my hot pink moto razr while T and P hissed on...

1 new message from *****

It's over. Stop calling or texting me. Don't make this hard for us.

I think I dropped the phone. I think I screamed. All I can remember was that T and P stopped arguing and stared at me.

"Oh my God. He... he... broke up with me. Through text."

I wanted to drown myself. I wanted to jump out of our cottage window. I wanted to drink the bottle of clog buster from the bathroom. I didn't sleep for the rest of our stay in Montemar. The stupid bus played a compilation of sad and cheesy heartbreak songs for four fucking hours. I was dying. I was dying. I was dying.

The stream of hot tears lasted for the rest of that summer.

The present: two years after the dirtiest break-up in my 21-year history.

I left him a message through YM last night. "Hey, grad ka na ba? :)"

Nothing. It's been that way for quite some time now. My mind suddenly dragged me back to the first day of our first term in second year, when we faced each other for the first time.

We were walking towards LS.

"You're awfully quiet. Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Like what?"

"Uh, I don't know... how about sorry?"

"I was going to... ayan ka nanaman eh lagi mo kong inuunahan."

"What happened? To us?"

"I think it's best for me to keep the reason to myself."

Figuring it out drove me mad.

mad = anger = mad = crazy

One of our friends told me he once said,

"How could I love her again if she's making me hate her?"

I've always been the fighting type.

I was so different then. Two years ago... feels like "The Land Before Time".

It's been awhile since I've moved on, but I never got the chance to give "closure" to that episode of my life, which was 1/3 responsible for turning me into the person I am today.

Whole again.

Thank you.

This post isn't meant to embarass you, or make people hate either one of us...

Thank you.

It's too late for apologies, and apologies would get us nowhere anyway.

Thank you.

I mean it.

Forever Summer