(twi)Light Relief

Hell month is definitely taking its toll on me.

Rest periods = texting, multiply-ing, facebook-ing, g-chatting, YM-ing, blogging, daydreaming... you get the picture.

Fortunately, I was in a pretty good mood today because of being briefly ATFed. Pretty good enough that I "twilightfully" (nope, sorry I am not an Edwardian; I think Peter Facinelli aka Dr. Carlisle Cullen, looked hot though) replied to TA's text demand for "the decision".

To: IB

06/12/08 08:27 PM

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Stop playing games! Decide. Now.

To: TA

06/12/08 08:31 PM

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As my response, I say "I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore (Cullen, 2008)."

To: IB

06/12/08 8:40 PM

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Swayed by emotions haha! I wouldn't recommend it (look where it got me!). But it's your call :)

To: TA
06/12/08 08:45 PM
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EMOTION. No s.

To: IB

06/12/08 8:58 PM
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I think he's startin 2 give in.

To: TA

06/12/08 09:03 PM

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Then "I'll be his life now." lol

I know. I'm such a jerk to text with sometimes.

It got me thinking though - which is the real measure of strength?

Being strong enough to leave, or being strong enough to stay?

Ok, just one more teehee! "I'm breaking all the rules now... since I'm going to hell (Cullen, 2008)." Ooh this is fun!

The Best of the Worst Dates (and hopefully the last)

View
 Z
05/12/08 03:46PM
Ei


Thus said the text message of Z, this guy I used to go out with whenever I was extremely bored and in need of a quick ego fix. Such a profound, sincere, and engaging message after half a year of absence from the face of my pink and perky world. My eyes brimmed with tears, and I stiffled a big yawn. I switched my brain to its Norton Anti-Virus mode and did a quick scan.

Three threats were found.

Mr. Obviously Aint Over 
When: 3 years ago
Where: by the Manila Bay
Duration: 3 hours
Role I assumed: Dr. Phil

Oh yeah. Could never forget this one. By the end of the date I knew everything about the ex - dress size, favorites, virtues, vices (he caught an STD from her so gee thanks, it was very thoughtful of him to inform me) and all that jazz. I felt for him though, so I gave him my sincerest thoughts and opinions the way I would with my closest friends. At one point Mr. OAO started crying, complete with matching hands-over-face pose. I quickly downed my third Margarita then. 

Mr. Houdini (extremely ODD, but rich and good looking)
When: 2 years ago
Where: some ice cream parlor
Duration: 2 hours
Role I assumed: date from hell

Ok, I went on this one as per my room mate's insistence - "It's free food. Just do your thing and charm him. The mall is about to close anyway." Great. Houdini was some sort of directionless chap, so I had to cross to the other side of the road. Oh it was raining hard that night too. His welcome words as I entered his car, "Wow, you'd definitely win any wet t-shirt contest." His comeuppance: I spent the entire night raving about this huge crush I've got on one of my girls' guys. On and on and on and on I went 'til he drove me back home. Good thing I immediately dashed out of the car as he was about to lean over for a kiss. 

Mr. Sales Pitch of the Year
When: memory gap hits
Where: grill restaurant
Duration: memory gap hits again
Role I assumed: audience, he took care of everything

Aside from all the smoke, my eyes dried out from the thrill of our conversation. After doing a background check on me, he began a tirade on all the women he dated who came from my highschool. Models, celebrities, chefs... I was already in deep conversation with my grilled pork chop. He really had a great time though, considering he promptly followed-up within the procedural three-day timeframe, and asked me out again - twice. 


Recommended action ---> fix

Processing 3 threats....

There are no more security risks to be resolved.

Whole Again (a sincere ty to the college ex)

It was the Good Friday of 2006 when it ended.

There I was struggling through the sand, going after one of my girls who was crazily arguing with her bf. Two days in Montemar - I did everything half-heartedly. I wasn't enjoying the beach, the sun, the food... how could I have fun when my "happiness" was two-hours-by- plane away? I was trying so hard to catch up with my right hand busily texting, while the other was tightly grasping "The Art of War", which I've been reading earlier that day. We finally got to the restaurant. My thumb was wildly punching the keys of my hot pink moto razr while T and P hissed on...

1 new message from *****

It's over. Stop calling or texting me. Don't make this hard for us.

I think I dropped the phone. I think I screamed. All I can remember was that T and P stopped arguing and stared at me.

"Oh my God. He... he... broke up with me. Through text."

I wanted to drown myself. I wanted to jump out of our cottage window. I wanted to drink the bottle of clog buster from the bathroom. I didn't sleep for the rest of our stay in Montemar. The stupid bus played a compilation of sad and cheesy heartbreak songs for four fucking hours. I was dying. I was dying. I was dying.

The stream of hot tears lasted for the rest of that summer.

The present: two years after the dirtiest break-up in my 21-year history.

I left him a message through YM last night. "Hey, grad ka na ba? :)"

Nothing. It's been that way for quite some time now. My mind suddenly dragged me back to the first day of our first term in second year, when we faced each other for the first time.

We were walking towards LS.

"You're awfully quiet. Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Like what?"

"Uh, I don't know... how about sorry?"

"I was going to... ayan ka nanaman eh lagi mo kong inuunahan."

"What happened? To us?"

"I think it's best for me to keep the reason to myself."

Figuring it out drove me mad.

mad = anger = mad = crazy

One of our friends told me he once said,

"How could I love her again if she's making me hate her?"

I've always been the fighting type.

I was so different then. Two years ago... feels like "The Land Before Time".

It's been awhile since I've moved on, but I never got the chance to give "closure" to that episode of my life, which was 1/3 responsible for turning me into the person I am today.

Whole again.

Thank you.

This post isn't meant to embarass you, or make people hate either one of us...

Thank you.

It's too late for apologies, and apologies would get us nowhere anyway.

Thank you.

I mean it.

Forever Summer

Emotional Cyclone

Pseudo-sober Self Cross-examination

Eff. I woke up this morning with a throbbing headache, and I was too much of a slug to get my ass over at the Ministop downstairs for my morning coffee. As a result, I'm in no mood to work today - sure. Heck, maybe later (Vinz is dropping by and I asked him to bring over some caramel frappe in exchange for tuna sushi *thank God for Vinz; seriously wonder how grad school would be in the following terms without him*.)!

no coffee = cerebral hang

*advertisement* MW just texted.
ANDRE THOMAS R. CONFIADO! What are we going to do with you??
*takes deep calming breaths*

3-2-1...
Oh-kay!  

G2: So ano tuloy pa ba?
Hell yeah! But as an afterthought - tuloy ang alin? Meron pa ba dapat ituloy? Was there really anything to begin with? Intellectual stimulation much. 

As Jive: I'll always over-analyze.

As a person: I've always known the answer.

As a plant: I'd rather photosynthesize.

As a G: Who cares about the answer - it is the inevitable. 

G1: We'll show ATF .
Oh we will. I think I've accepted the fact that this will take a long while. I might as well try to sit back, relax, and enjoy the rest of the flight.

Today I reset to day 1.

Shucks. Why do I have to be sooo Gemini?

Blow Hot and Cold

  -idiom [blō hät ənd kōld]
1. to favor a thing at one time and treat it coldly at another.
2. to appear both to favor and to oppose.

Oh yeah.